We all understand that tampering in the transfer portal is hard to police. How can one know when a player is recruiting an opponent without being prompted by his head coach? That’s hard to prove. Those complaints are fair. Yet, coaches also have to deal with reality on this issue. They need to grow a pair.

If it’s against the rules for a coach to direct his players to recruit opposing players, I don’t blame coaches for crying foul and wanting NCAA rule violations to be punished. That is normal and understandable, and it is why the transfer portal is such a constant point of discussion and concern in college football circles. It makes sense that a lot of coaches would be upset.

Yet, as Alex Scarborough reported in his detailed piece for ESPN earlier this week, mature coaches will realize that they can control the transfer portal if they do their jobs well and answer the challenge to provide a better, more welcoming space for their players.

At least some coaches are coming to the realization that they can’t complain about having to continually recruit half their roster to guard against them transferring without wondering why half their roster might want to leave in the first place.

Cincinnati coach Luke Fickell said that every time they lose a player to the portal, it’s a reminder of the importance of relationships.

“What we’ve always believed, but we sometimes lose sight of, is that you have to continually build your relationship with a kid,” he said. “I’ve always done a great job of that with the kids that are playing, but I’ve done a bad job in all my days of coaching, I think, of kids who might not be the seven to eight [top] linebackers. … You’ve got those redshirted kids and guys on the scout team and you said, ‘Hey, that’s a part of life. I’ll see you in six months when the season ends.’ And it’s been a reminder to us that, for goodness’ sakes, we weren’t doing it right 15-20 years ago spending enough time to make sure we’re building that relationship.”

Arkansas coach Sam Pittman echoed that sentiment, saying that, “If losing a starter bothers you more than losing someone who hasn’t played much, you’re being pretty selfish.”

“I think it’s easy to say that someone tampered if you lose somebody,” he added, “but in all honesty, we have to look at ourselves and internally in our program to say, ‘Have we done all the things? Have we been honest and true? Have we built a relationship with us where he won’t want to leave us?'”

Coaches have a valid complaint when they know that other coaches are clearly tampering, and yet have a hard time proving it. We can all understand how frustrating that might feel. Yet, the bottom line in all of this is that if a coach runs a program where his players — even the benchwarmers who are lower on the depth chart — feel valued and accepted, they are less likely to transfer.

In some instances, transfers are simply a product of playing time: not enough in one school, abundant in the transfer destination. Coaches can’t really help that one… and if their own starters are good, it shouldn’t hurt to lose a backup to another program. (The solution: Play the second-stringer more if one doesn’t want to lose him to another program. This isn’t brain surgery or splitting the atom.)

However, if playing time is not the No. 1 issue, and it becomes obvious that a player doesn’t feel valued or accepted at his current school, whose fault is that? It could be that a coach did everything possible to earn a player’s trust, and the player just wouldn’t listen. That happens sometimes.

Most of the time, however, a player doesn’t think he is a good fit at a program. He doesn’t blend in well, doesn’t have the experience he hoped to have. The coaches don’t put him in the best position to succeed.

The transfer portal might be a source of exasperation for coaches who see and hear about cheating and are mad they can’t nail their competitors to the wall… but in the final analysis, if coaches run great programs, they have very little to worry about in the transfer portal.

What do coaches always say? Take care of the things you can control and block out all the other distractions.

On the transfer portal, coaches need to follow their own advice.