The gridiron battles that have unfolded in backyards throughout history are the stuff of legend. Whether we’re talking about the movies—”Hot route! Hot route!”—or the real-life battles between family and foe (which might be the same thing), the games are as nostalgic-heavy in football lore as the slow-spinning spiral in NFL Films.
And right now, most if not all of the sports world would love nothing more than to go outside and play…and that introduces one important question:
Are you ready for some (quarantined) backyard football?!
Let’s roll.
It’s been over 20 years since the video game “Backyard Football” was released, but it will serve as the blueprint for this exercise for our caged sports minds. In the video game, your team consists of seven NFL players—five on the field and two on the bench. I’ve added in an Honorary Coach, just for good measure.
As a football blogger, let me also add some advice: This is ironman football, which means your team will be playing both offense and defense—so, before you go picking Tom Brady, think about the help he’ll need over the top in your coverage scheme.
Also, for this particular draft, we’re only using current NFL players. (If the sports world’s unfortunate postponement continues, there are possibilities of a Part 2: An All-Forever Roster.)
For now, though, if you’re up for a game of 5-on-5 football, here’s the team I’m taking out to the backyard.
QB/CB: Russell Wilson
(Photo by Justin K. Aller/Getty Images)
There’s a ton of different options at QB, and it’s definitely the most important selection—just like the real stuff—so a lot of consideration needs to go into it.
For me, Russell Wilson is the guy. Ultimate athleticism and command of the team (that intangible “respect”) are crucial elements, and Wilson has all of it. (The height argument is negated in backyard football, too, because there’s only one guy on the O-line.) Besides, if you only watched a few downs of Seahawks football last season, you know Wilson can scramble when the line breaks down and still make downfield competitions with solid accuracy.
Translation: Because there’s only one guy on the line, and typically a two-man rush for the defense, you’re QB has to be able to handle some one-on-one pressure while having the field vision of a panoramic camera.
Sure, some you might be screaming, “OK—take Patrick Mahomes!” Totally expected and understood. But while Mahomes is a tremendous young gun, I’d worry about his no-look throws going awry and breaking windows or worse, landing in the neighbor’s yard with “that dog.”
And really, I’m not sure how I like him as a corner playing man coverage.
C/IL: Christian Wilkins
© Jasen Vinlove-USA TODAY Sports
Marshal Yanda’s retirement is well deserved, but it certainly affects the original layout of this squad. You’re only as good as the improvisational skills in the war room, though, so I scoured the tapes and found a legit replacement.
Say hello to Christian Wilkins.
Wilkins is what makes backyard football so enjoyable, a true multi-dimensional talent who 5-on-5 teams salivate over. (If this were the NFL, he’d be another team’s inconsistent starting QB going within six feet of Jon Gruden.)
Wilkins has the size and ability on the defensive interior to stop any offense’s shenanigans (i.e. running the football) plus he can move a foot or two to the left or right and really disrupt the passing game from an abbreviated edge-rush.
Then, there’s his offensive hutzpah, which is nothing short of spectacular:
RB/Slot/CB: Lamar Jackson
Tommy Gilligan-USA TODAY Sports
What? Do you think this team isn’t going to be doing pass-passes and all-out chicanery every other play? You’re nuts.
The offense is going to be a no boundaries assortment that features RPOs, RPOs that aren’t RPOs, the works—think of it as a mix of a West Coast spread and Euro League soccer.
And honestly, you guys, Jackson is not bad for a running back. He’ll be great lined up in the slot or coming out of the backfield in motion.
On defense? He’s one of the most athletically gifted talents ever to play the game, so there’s absolute comfort placing him on the other team’s best receiver. Press coverage to the max!
TE/LB: George Kittle
(Chuck Cook-USA TODAY Sports
Kittle made a name for himself in 2019, tormenting defenses on the field while also providing entertainment off the field—and that’s the kind of teammate you want in backyard football.
He’s strong, athletic, and makes for matchup nightmares and schematic possibilities. Plus, with Kittle there’s immediate flexibility within the offensive gameplan. He can pull and pick up the blitz so that Watkins can do his thing in the flat. He can lead the wall on QB sneaks—or release on a reverse throw. And the underneath patterns? Forget it. Regardless if the opposing team’s linebackers apply decent coverage…as we’ve seen, it takes six guys to normally bring him down. And there’s only five no the field, chief.
Advantage: Us.
WR/FS: Larry Fitzgerald
(Al Bello/Getty Images)
Choosing the No. 1 receiver, like QB, is a difficult decision. They have to be able to go long—every play—and have the lung capacity to circle the endzone while Wilson or Jackson juke and scramble from the defense’s rush. The top wide receiver also must understand that backyard football is as much about the lay of the land—each stump, sprinkler head, half-buried ’89 Starting Lineup, and undulation—as it is hands, route-running ability, and stamina.
Now, there is a handful of talented individuals who could make for a dynamic threat on the outside, but few have the plus-PLUS of Fitzgerald’s uncanny experience and those intangibles. (Few have his ability to go up and get the ball, too, which will work well on offense and defense.)
Bench: Ty Sambrailo
(Photo by Michael Reaves/Getty Images)
Ironman football means that guys are going to get a tad winded—especially Christian Wilkins, who will be snapping, blocking, and running routes…all at a pleasantly sturdy 315 pounds.
He’s going to need a breather, guys, without question.
But his replacement needs to have just as much multi-dimensional talent. Again, we need someone who can block, catch passes, and disrupt the opposing offenses’ attack.
Ty Sambrailo is perfect, checking all of the boxes. And the fact Tennessee is placing Ryan Tannehill’s and Derrick’s Henry’s 2020 offensive output—well, a small piece of it anyway—in Sambarilo’s hands speaks volumes.
And speaking of hands:
Now that’s the type YAC every backyard team should want!
Bench: JJ Watt
(Getty Images)
Whether you go wild for analytics and heavy film sessions or not, when you’re talking about a game that has a Hail Mary roughly every other down, it’s probably not a bad idea to have guys on the squad who can both catch it and swat it.
And really, is there a more ultimate catcher-swatter than JJ Watt?
The guy is a pure two-way talent. He’s won the Defensive Player of the Year award, and he’s scored touchdowns on Sunday, too. Injury concerns keep him out the starting lineup, of course, but what an equalizer to have hanging out on the porch.
Just when you think this team is out of it, in comes Watt—Game. Over.
Honorary Coach: Ryan Shazier
(Photo by Joe Sargent/Getty Images)
Because we could all use a dose of inspiration, you know?
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